


it won't be forever.

by sillycharityx



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25450360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillycharityx/pseuds/sillycharityx
Summary: It won't be forever... Charity leaves Vanessa at her mum's.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	it won't be forever.

**Author's Note:**

> It really hurts to see Charity hurting doesn't it?

It’s awkward. Of course it is. They’re sat quietly in the sitting room. Charity can’t call it a living room. It doesn’t look lived in. It looks like the inside of one of those old-fashioned doll’s houses… Patterned sofas, china everywhere… Vanessa’s mum is making the tea – no doubt in an actual teapot – Charity thinks. 

They’re sat as close as possible. Vanessa gripping on to her hand. Their thighs are pressed together, clasped hands resting on Vanessa’s knee. She knows Vanessa can feel the tension in her – she knows because Vanessa is slowly running her thumb over her knuckles. Even now, exhausted from the latest bout of treatment, Vanessa is still comforting her. Charity turns and places a kiss on Vanessa’s shoulder, resting for just a moment. She can hear the clatter of what she presumes is a tea tray being walked down the hall. She sighs. She pulls her armour back on. Paints on her fake smile.

‘Here we are. Just what the doctor ordered.’ 

Charity tries not to roll her eyes.

‘Thanks mum.’

‘Yeah, thank you.’ Charity adds quietly. Taking the cup with the hand that isn’t still (willingly) being held captive by Vanessa’s own. She watches the woman. She sees the way her eyes glance down at their joined hands – the look makes her feel odd. She grips Vanessa’s hand that bit tighter. 

Small talk.  
Lots and lots of small talk.

Charity contributes when required but mostly focuses on the feeling of being this close to Vanessa. Mentally noting how it feels to be holding her hand. Taking in every small detail of her appearance. The last time they were separated Charity didn’t have the chance to do this. This time Charity was committing every part of Vanessa to memory. Of course, it’s all there anyhow – in her mind. She only has to close her eyes and Vanessa is there, smiling. Or raising her eyebrows if Charity is about to make a bad decision. It’s been like that for a long while now – and Charity will not let those images fade.

‘Yeah well Charity has got plenty to do – haven’t you?’ 

Charity zones back in.  
‘I reckon the kids will keep me occupied…’ She tries to add a wink but there’s no cheeky smirk today. ‘To be honest babe I’m not too sure how I’ll be able to focus knowing you’re not at home…’ She looks down at her knees willing the moisture to evaporate from her eyes. Not in front of Vanessa’s mum – she tells herself. 

‘Yes well – you’re a barmaid, aren’t you? With a pub to run? I’m sure that’ll keep you more than busy.’

‘She’s the landlady mum – I told you that. Owns the place. Don’t you Charity?’

‘Yeah with my cousin – Chas.’

The woman just offers a less than polite smile. Vanessa stifles a yawn. 

‘Tired?’ Charity murmurs.  
‘Just a bit – you know how it is. I’ll have a nap once you’re gone.’ She smiles, leaning back into the sofa just that bit more. Charity doesn’t want to leave her. She wants to drag Vanessa back to the car and drive her back to Emmerdale. To her home. 

‘I’ll take your bag up in a second.’ Her mum nods to the small suitcase sat by their feet. She rises to grab it. ‘What about that one?’ She points to the small satchel sitting on the coffee table.

‘That’s got all my tablets in.’ Vanessa grimaces slightly as she explains. ‘Not sure how I’ll keep track of them all without you nagging me every five minutes.’ She adds, with a nudge to Charity’s side.

‘Oh. Um – actually…’ Charity blushes slightly. ‘I thought of that.’ She reaches forward and pulls out a medication organiser – for each day and each time slot there was a little box filled with tablets. ‘There’s three sets in the bag, I figured you’d probably appreciate the help…’ She looks at Vanessa. Vanessa’s smiling the way she does whenever Charity does something remotely thoughtful. That smile that makes Charity fall in love with her just a little more each time she sees it. The smile that Charity would do absolutely anything to see all the time. It lights up Vanessa’s face, and it lights up Charity’s heart. 

‘Are you sure that’s wise? What if they’ve not been counted properly?’ Vanessa’s mum questions her.

‘There are extra packets of everything in there too – just in case.’ Charity explains, keeping her eyes on Vanessa. She puts the dispenser down and picks up Vanessa’s hand again. 

‘Right well – I’ll take this upstairs and then you can have your nap.’ With that – the woman has left them alone. Charity picks up on the not so subtle hint that Vanessa’s mother thinks it’s time she left.

She stands – followed closely by Vanessa. 

‘I’ll walk you out.’

Charity just nods. Keeping hold of her hand. They walk down the path to where Charity’s car is. They move towards each other at the same time, grasping as tightly as possible. Vanessa is tucked neatly under Charity’s chin, arms wrapped securely around her waist. Charity rests her lips against the crown of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo. They’ve danced this dance a thousand times over – they each know the part they play. The way they slot together. 

‘It won’t be forever.’ 

The words are mumbled against her chest. 

‘I know.’ She sniffs. There goes her promise not to cry… Vanessa pulls away slightly – bringing her hands up to Charity’s face. Using her thumbs to wipe away the few escaped tears. 

‘I promise.’ It is said with such sincerity Charity has no choice but to believe her. She finds herself nodding in agreement. Bringing her hands up to the back of Vanessa’s neck she leans their foreheads against each other’s. 

‘I love you.’ She whispers. Bringing their lips together – just once. 

‘I love you back.’ 

They part.

She gets into her car, pulls on her seatbelt, turns the key and immediately rolls down her window. Looking to her Vanessa. 

‘Bye babe.’

‘Bye Charity.’ Vanessa raises her arm to wave and Charity sees her mum. Stood in the doorway, arms folded across her chest. An unreadable expression on her face once more. She pulls out of the parking space and drives. Looking in the rear-view mirror until the last possible moment – eyes locked with Vanessa’s the entire time.  
‘It won’t be forever.’ She whispers to herself. She checks the mirror one last time and Vanessa is gone. However, this time Charity also sees the car seat that is now at home in the back of her car. A seat normally occupied by a little boy with eyes just like his mummy’s. 

So – home is where she drives.

To Johnny.


End file.
